Building momentum for mentors

By Harav Y. Reuven Rubin Shlita

The long line weaved its way from the large door through the long lobby. The Rebbe’s gabbai stood by the door, opening it for each new supplicant and sharing a word with those who were exiting. Going in to see the Beis Yisroel ztl was a unique experience. Those in line would stand with their kvittel (written requests) with a special ardour, or grasped a book of Tehillim as they davened that Hashem grant them hatzlacha. The Beis Yisroel was a fount of spiritual energy, never predictable, always delving deep into each visitor’s soul. The Rebbe had the amazing ability to give that which each petitioner needed for his spiritual growth. All this was done in mere moments; you entered and soon found all your woes dissipate into the air of holiness that permeated the room. The Rebbe would look into your soul and with a few sharfa, loved-soaked words, open up your deep-seated pain. At those doors swirled miracles and hope, generously given with Ahavas Yisroel and real concern.

Once,  a venerable “old timer” came into the hall and stared at the waiting line of young Chassidim. This special Yid had lived through the Churban without ever losing his original roots. For all it mattered, he was still living in Ger near Warsaw, with all the fire and devotion that made those “original” Chassidim the great lights they were. The older Chossid walked back and forth, staring with concentration at the young generation that stood in line. Suddenly he turned to one of the “Fritzlach” (young marrieds) and barked, “ich bin der nisht mekanah of dos vus di viest! “I am not jealous of that which you know!” The loud proclamation caused all to turn in wonder. What was the older Chossid talking about? He went over to the gabbai and explained. “These young men know things we never heard of, I am not jealous of their knowledge. I prefer the simple reality I have lived with.”  In these few words, that special Yidel spoke of truths that trouble us till this day.

“We dare not be witnesses to further destruction without seeking ways of turning the situation around”

The Piacenza Rebbe ztl wrote a stirring preamble in his monumental masterpiece, “Chovos Hatalmidim” aimed at parents and teachers. His vibrant message is extremely relevant today. He points out that the youth of his day, (and even more so today) are aware of information and insights about which the older generation have no conception. He asks, “how can you teach these youngsters if you have no idea where they are emotionally? You look at them as they are now, children, who you think you can bend to your will. But this is not the reality. You should look at what they can become and work towards bringing them to that goal.

The Rebbe is explaining that unless a parent or teacher is aware of what is going on in the youngster’s reality, they can’t hope to connect them to Hashem, which is the goal of every teacher and mentor.

In my mind’s eye I see that old Chossid exclaiming his truth, and it reminds me of our current predicament.

Have we any idea of the information to which our youth are privy? They are living in a world that is miles away from that which we, their parents and grandparents, inhabited when we were young.

I meet many youngsters, some of whom are having trouble in their learning. Time and again I see that their teachers and parents just have no idea about the reality of these youths. The Chovos Hatalmidim speaks with clarity: “if you don’t teach each youngster at his unique level, you are not teaching. Rather you are lecturing.”

Not every child can be lectured to, especially with our present generation. Our young are receiving information from a multitude of sources, all in small digestible pieces. We have to understand their situation and act accordingly.

Well then, you may ask, are there any answers to this problem? Indeed there are. We need more mentors, young married men who don’t live a thousand miles away from these kids. Their job would be to offer individualistic tailor-made learning which will take into consideration each student’s real and unique needs.

They would be there as a bridge, so the young who aren’t connecting with the established system will not be lost. I know there are many mosdos who already have mentors. The challenge is that these young mentors need resources which they can access and appreciate that they are a vital link in transmitting our Mesorah to the next generation.

Some months ago I was honoured to share some time with a group of young men who are mentors. It was exciting and illuminating. I believe we all shared positively in this exercise. I was amazed at how much these young men cared and sought to grow in their chosen field. Mentoring is a great tool which can give so much to those Yiddishe neshomas who are drowning, sometimes silently, in the ocean that is our educational community.

We have to create a dialogue between mentors and the heads of mosdos in order that the mentors will be given the credit they deserve, thereby helping them to work together with the school for the betterment of our young.

The Three Weeks is a time to reflect on where we have gone wrong and how we can begin to make things better. Each child has a Beis Hamikdosh within his heart. We dare not be witnesses to further destruction without seeking ways of turning the situation around. In this endeavor we will soon merit the rebuilding of our Holy Beis Hamikdosh and with our young intact.