STRINGS ATTACHED

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STRINGS ATTACHED

Harav Y. Reuven Rubin Shlita

I may have mentioned this before, I have a great affinity with tzitzis, this most used of mitzvah’s strikes a note in my heart that goes beyond mere words. It is part of the Rubin family folklore that Zeidy has more pairs of titzis than your average Jewish book shop. Seems I can’t pass such emporium’s and not step in and browse not only the wonderful world of new Torah Seforim that seem to be spewing forth with ever greater vigour, but the rails of Tzitzis. These neat rails seem to have a hold on me and coax me ever closer.  I soon find myself suddenly needing yet another pair. The white wool, the woven edging, the lovely simplicity of the strings, all this and more, triggers me to take out my credit card and offer it up for yet another pair.

Every mitzvah that we have speaks to each neshoma with unique aspects of that individual soul. No two souls are the same, we all have a different tikun, and it is this that awakens aspects of our mitzvah observance uniquely to our inner voice. For me, the tzitzis whispers of golus and freedom, of everyday mitzvahs tied and bound to a tight source, and of seeing life’s complexity loosened by a sigh and a kiss.

Life can seem twisted and convoluted, problems chocking one’s heart with the ache of our individual golus. Look at the tzitzis, all gathered in what can seem a twisted ball of string. Then you give a gentle shake, the strings become tamed by the cords that represent our core, the 613 mitzvahs that make us who we are. These cords are wrapped together in ancient patterns of holiness, representing the inner attachment of our Yiddishkeit. When things get rough, as it does in every life, I often stare at the jumble of strings, and caress them with my eyes, knowing that it will all come straight and I will feel the wonder of Hashems benevolence. The wide spread custom is that we kiss our tzitzis when we mention them during Shacharis Kriyas Shema till we finish the paragraph that particularly speaks of them, except we hold on a bit longer, this a Kabbalistic custom that may well reflect our reluctance to let go of the power of their caring message. Tzitzis hanging softly by our side all day, sliding through your daily challenges, draping you with promise and hope. I know, I am waxing lyrical about this most cherished yet consistent of mitzvahs, after all we all wear them with pride.

Any author will tell you that there are moments when words just flow and there is no particular conscious rhyme nor reason for that stream of thought. It’s just there in your heart, and when facing the blank page they spring forth. Perhaps that is also the pull of this generous mitzvah, it takes no specific day or event, it’s there, always, just protecting us and telling us our holiest truth, that Hashem is always with us.

I have mulled over the why and wherefore I have turned to this subject on just this day. Then it struck me, today is the yahrzeit of our baby which was niftar shortly after her birth. The Rebbetzin held that child for only a few fleeting moments. It was a difficult time for us as every reader will understand. This sad day struck us over fifty years ago. The Rebbetzin AH carried this pain till her last moments, not in a negative way, just the opposite, she used her experience to give others strength though their challenges. So, I believe that this discussion came to mind as a tikun for that child, and her dear mother who lived with her in her heart.